BEHIND THE LYRICS: U AIN’T ME
I wanted to write a song where I could hype myself up. Something that felt true to me and something that would give me confidence. At that point in my life, I was feeling a lot of frustration, both personally and creatively, and I needed somewhere to let off steam.
I also wanted to give myself permission to just pop my shit for a little bit.
I think we’re so used to listening to other artists be confident and talk themselves up, and I thought, why can’t I do that for myself? This song was me giving myself permission to be as braggadocious as possible.
WERE YOU NERVOUS ABOUT RELEASING IT?
A little bit. I was actually scared to record this song because I didn’t want to do another rap song, and I didn’t really want to go down the rap route. I still don’t really see myself as a rapper. I’m more of a singer-songwriter who occasionally raps... maybe i'm indenial. I was also worried people might think I was cocky, arrogant or bragging. At the same time, I’m not here to people-please anymore. Not everybody is going to gravitate towards my music, and that’s okay.
We’re former people pleasers. We don’t care what people think anymore.
WHAT DOES THE MUSIC VIDEO REPRESENT?
The idea came from watching an old clip of Bobby Shmurda performing for Epic Records. That clip always stayed with me. For a long time, I felt like I had to keep proving myself creatively. Proving I was talented enough. Proving why people should invest in me. I’ve had people treat me differently because I was an independent artist. Then they’d see the quality of the work, the branding, the numbers, and suddenly the energy would change.
The man in the video represents the industry, but he also represents a specific person that I worked with for a long time. Someone I always felt like I had to keep auditioning for. The video is me finally standing up for myself and saying to the industry: I don’t need your permission anymore. I don’t need your validation anymore. I don’t need you to see that I’m amazing.
Shout out to Tim who helped me on the day!
I’m done auditioning. A star is going to shine regardless.
IS THIS SONG DIFFERENT TO WHO YOU ARE IN REAL LIFE?
A chaotic day and desk. I had to do my own makeup because my MUA had cancelled a few days before
In some ways, yes. Depending on the circumstances, I can actually be quite introverted. If somebody complimented me, I would usually downplay it or deflect back to the person but I’ve stopped doing that now. Through therapy and a lot of self-work, I’ve been learning to just accept compliments and embrace who I am.
WHO IS THE VERSION OF TALITHA THAT COMES OUT WHEN YOU RAP?
She’s the most confident version of me. She’s not worried about what people think. She’s not seeking validation. She’s on her pop star shit. Naomi Campbell always comes to mind. Not because I’m comparing myself to Naomi, but because of the aura. It’s that energy of, “You can’t mess with me.”
WHAT DOES THE LYRIC ‘YOU CAN TRY RECREATE, BUT YOU AIN’T ME’ MEAN?
I’ve had moments where people didn’t really support what I was doing, but then in person they’d tell me they were watching everything and loved what I was building. I’ve also had moments where people have downplayed something I was doing and then gone on to do something similar themselves. And that’s where that line came from. Nobody can do what you do the way you do it. You can try recreate it, but you ain’t me.
WHAT DO YOU HOPE PEOPLE FEEL WHEN THEY LISTEN TO THIS SONG?
Confidence. I hope it reminds people that they don’t need external validation. Nobody can do what you do the way you do it. Believe in your source.
FAVOURITE LYRICS & HIDDEN MEANINGS
I was so happy to finally finish the shoot! Yayyy!!!
“I got the power, G to the D, making noise like Big Bang, they be hating, big mad.”
This line is a little nod to one of my biggest inspirations, G-Dragon from my fave kpop group, BigBang. I was listening to his song “Power” a lot while writing this record, and I wanted to reference him in the song.
“F my ex, f his next. Only dated you because I was insecure. Glad I’m not insecurely attached.”
Fun fact: I actually went back and Fforth on releasing this section. At the time, I was also on my spiritual journey with God and I rewrote and re-recorded this part so many times because I felt convicted about it.
The original version was a lot harsher. I ended up toning it down because even I didn’t like the energy I was putting out. I think energy and frequency matter, and I knew people would feel that when they listened to the song. I even made a clean version because I wanted the message to come across without all the anger.
Also, this line wasn’t really about one specific ex. It’s more about acknowledging that I won’t go through certain situations again because I’m no longer insecurely attached. That’s also a little reference to the book Attached and some of the things I learned through therapy.
It was sooooo hot on that day! The lights are so hot and the fan wasn’t doing much.
“Je ne sais quoi can’t be cloned, either you got it, and clearly you don’t.”
This is probably one of my favourite lines on the whole song. Because if you’ve got the je ne sais quoi, you’ve got the je ne sais quoi. You can’t teach it. You can’t copy it. You can’t recreate it. It’s just something that’s there. And honestly? That’s what the whole song is about.
You can take inspiration. You can try to recreate. But you ain’t me.
“I’ve been that girl since I got out the oven, hot, hot, bun or bust down, I stay serving.”
This line has a few layers to it. Firstly, in the UK, we say someone has “a bun in the oven” when they’re pregnant. So when I say, “I’ve been that girl since I got out the oven,” what I’m trying to say is that since I was born, I knew I was going to be that girl. It was predestined.
Then you’ve got “hot, hot” because an oven is hot. Then you’ve got “bun or bust down.” On one hand, it’s playing on the idea of a bun in the oven, but it’s also about my hair. Whether I have my hair in a bun, natural or I’ve got a 26” bussdown, I stay serving.
Basically, I’m saying I’ve always had it. It’s always been in me, and no matter what version of me you get, I’m still that girl.